From Idlis to Excel Sheets: The Invisible Load of Working Women

Society loves a checklist, especially when it comes to women: a steady job in the organised sector?  A supportive husband?  That’s it—you must be empowered and happy, right?

You're told that earning money equals freedom. Add a "good marriage" to the mix, and voilà—you’ve apparently unlocked the perfect formula for a woman’s happiness. And if you’re still not content? Well, you’re gently reminded to “count your blessings” and stop looking for more.

But let’s be honest—is this really your truth?

Do you ever feel there’s more to your story than what the world sees or wants to hear?

This one’s for all the working women who are expected to feel fulfilled just because the boxes are ticked.

Let’s talk about what empowerment really feels like when no one’s watching.

Let’s explore the untold truths behind the ‘perfect’ lives.

To every married, employed woman out there—especially those clocking into the organised sector—and to every person who knows such a woman, here’s a question to begin with:

What does an “ordinary” working day look like for her?

Let’s rewind the clock to somewhere between 4 am and 6 am. The world is still half-asleep, but she’s already up, stepping into her first job of the day—homemaker-in-chief. The stove goes on. Breakfast begins. Soon after, lunchboxes are packed—for herself,  for husband, and for children. Amidst boiling tea and school uniforms, she’s nudging sleepy heads out of bed and prepping them for the day ahead.

Oh, and the newspaper arrives. Not that it matters—there’s no time for headlines. Even if the world were ending tomorrow, the more urgent question is: Will she make it to the office on time after finishing all of this?

The Scene on the Other Side of the Bed

Let’s pan the camera to the other half of this domestic universe: the husband. In our micro-nuclear families, the modern husband is not the stern, detached patriarch of yesteryears. He helps. Especially on weekdays.

He might not wake up with her, but once the smell of coffee fills the air (made by her), he’s up and scrolling through the day’s news—either the crisp paper kind or digital updates with a dash of dopamine from social media.

Then, with a generous sense of participation, he steps in. Maybe he rinses a dish, packs the kids' bags, or fills a water bottle. After all, he’s the “new man”—woke, supportive, and feminist-approved.

And Then Begins Her Second Job

The commute is not just to a workplace. It’s a commute into another identity. At office, she’s the consummate professional. Punctual. Responsible. Goal-oriented. Her discipline, she says, was inspired by her father. (Mothers, apparently, don’t get cited for professional virtues.)

But even as she's immersed in Excel sheets or reports, the background tab in her mind keeps pinging:

• “We’re almost out of sugar.”

• “Need two packets of milk.”

• “Bananas—for the kid’s lunchbox tomorrow.”

• “Ayyo! Did I soak rice and dal for tomorrow’s idlis?”

These are the notifications she doesn’t swipe away. They coexist with deadlines, presentations, and appraisals. Because tonight’s dinner and tomorrow’s breakfast are also part of her KPI (Key Personal Indicators).

Meanwhile, her husband? He’s deep into his workday. Fully focused. Because he was taught: home is home, office is office. Never mix the two.

Cut to 5:30 pm: Packing Up (the Office and Her Mind)

When office hours end, she packs up exactly on time. No staying back, no casual catch-ups. There’s a world waiting for her. A to-do list hanging by the thread of routine—dirty dishes, clothes to be hung (no, the smart washing machine hasn’t evolved enough to do that yet), and the list on her phone titled “Groceries to avoid chaos tomorrow.”

She walks into her home not with tired shoulders but with bags full of possibility—the ingredients for a peaceful evening and a manageable morning.

The kids are back. Homework begins. The second shift is on.

The Sweet Call That Comes In

Around this time, her mobile rings. It’s him. His voice soft. Loving.

“Hey love, what’s for dinner?”

She stutters for a second. There was no time to think of that. She was too busy being a professional, remember?

Then comes the follow-up, casual yet heroic:

“Should I pick up anything for tomorrow’s breakfast?”

Aha. The modern man does care. He participates.

But pause for a moment, dear reader. Ask yourself:

At any point today, did he think about what to make for breakfast tomorrow?

Or lunch for the kids? Or check the grocery list while stuck in a traffic jam?

No?

That’s alright. Because, society reminds her kindly:

“At least you have a caring, supportive husband. Be grateful. Think of all those women who don’t. Don't be that nagging wife—after all, he almost did the dishes."

Before You Log Off...

So the next time someone tells you we’ve come a long way in terms of gender equality, remember this: equality isn’t just about men ‘helping’ at home. It’s about shared responsibility, shared mental load, shared stakes.

Because no woman should have to carry the weight of tomorrow’s breakfast in her mind while typing out today’s work report!